I love having a new yard. . .

All the Momma could talk about was how important it was that I have a yard in my new home, and how I'd LOVE it so very much. Well, let me tell you something people. I didn't. And, I don't. My momma has walked with me since I was a tiny baby on an umbilical cord from the day she picked me up at my fairy Grandmothers house in Illinois. Why, on earth would she think I'd break out into the "Lord of the dance"*(click here to see what I'm talking about)* at the sight of my very own yard? I don't like being out there without her for a lot of reasons. Mostly because I'm pretty sure she's eating something especially delicious when I'm outside and she's inside, and I would like a bite, if that's what she's doing. Also, because she really is great company. Who wants to lay in the grass all by themselves? That's no fun! She plays with me, and pets me, and makes up amazing songs about me, and dances for me. Also, I get TONS of attention when we walk on my umbilical cord. People love me! And I love to be loved! There are no adoring fans in my back yard. Just weird looking furry things that chomp on acorns who aren't even fun to chase. Nuts!?! They don't even have good taste in food! I prefer deer, and bunnies, and very small dogs. Anyway, I get to my new house, and my people start making a HUGE scene about my back yard to me. It was ridiculous. But, I got the last laugh. I always do.

*I'm certain you know what Lord of the Dance is- since I as a dog do, but that dude has crazy feet, and we can all use a second look once in a while.*